Nearly a whole season has drifted on by like nobody's business. At times I have found myself carelessly flowing with the currents and forgetting to obtain stability and establishing maturity. As the clock continues to tick so do the counters of my life, and I still find it very difficult to not repeats counts instead of counting forward. After years and years of experiences, lessons, and understanding, there always seem to be new challenges and obstacles that put us at a stand still. And at this stop sign we stop to think and to formulate a solution to prevail and to move on, but when does it ever go according to plan? No one can really give an exact outcome of a situation, we can only we predict and hope for the best. And in hoping it builds anxiety, a feeling that can fluctuate dramatically. We always hope for most fitting outcome for ourselves, but when the effects are not so great in our favor we get this devastating pain in within ourselves. Is it really the aftermath of the problem or is it then let down of the built up expectations that you had for yourself? It takes great discipline and control to regulate these feelings, it's easier said than done obviously. But once you can decipher your emotions and the actuality of reality than you will eventually assess the notion of composure. As you get older you implore the perception of being selfish, selfishness will help guide you in your chosen direction. The term might seem a little hasty and bold but it's real, truth of the matter is that one must concentrate on one self's goal and principles in order to progress as beings of society and life. The paradox of this is concept is that often people get consume by it and begin to conceive the thoughts of everything revolving around them and anything that does that benefit them is nothing worth noting. I find myself assuming many things when I am not exactly sure of certain circumstances, it's a hard habit to kick. At times when we begin to immensely worry about typical situations, are times that we begin to build this uneasy feeling of apprehension, uncertainty, and eventually jealousy. This feeling is fabricated not by the mystery of gray but by our own standard desire. The way I try to stray away from this is trying to recall the past feelings when I felt when I was wrong and screwed up still situations; it's a gut-wrenching feeling. "Assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups." I must admit it is so f*cken difficult to not put so much weight and pressure on yourself; to presume so many different predicaments, often times it causes you to act and think irrationally. It's human nature to respond in certain ways but when you allow these sentiments to clutter our judgments you just place yourself a step back from maturing. Isn't that also funny because we're the only specie that can rationalize, if we lose control of that than what do we have left to differentiate us and others?
Anyway, in the present actuality, things have been cranking uphill and hopefully I continue lead myself in the right direction. It's weird cause I use "hope" a lot but I'm a realist but also an optimist, can we be both? So we are about 1/24 way through the new year and everything is starting to settle in its place. A long winter break to relax and chill, hanging out with friends and family, meeting new faces and personalities, and just a clean and refreshing start to a new year, a continuing self journey, and more life lessons.
Little Joy - The Next Time Around.Mp3
Corrine Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On.Mp3
CSS - Let's Reggae All Night.Mp3
Land of Talk - It's Okay.Mp3
Thievery Corporation - Sweet Tides.Mp3
Tokyo Police Club - Listen to the Math.Mp3
The Dodos - Red and Purple.Mp3
Architecture in Helsinki - Heart It Races.Mp3
The Capsules - The Cycles Starts Again
